For an explanation of the title, see the link at the end.
If you are seriously, irreconcilably frustrated by your significant other (or lack thereof) and you never want to see your significant other (or yourself) ever again, please accept a sincere piece of advice from me: Do not- I repeat: DO NOT throw them(or yourself) in a black hole. That would be a bad idea.
Now the sensible will decimate my sagely wisdom because of the sheer improbability of a black hole ever crossing two recently uncrossed star crossed lovers. But the curious(and the willing) will ask: Why?
Because the face of the victim will adorn the cosmos for the rest of your life. That kind of kills the point of throwing someone into a hole which never spits anything out. Why?
In my previous article I wrote about how a black hole is formed. Now I will write about why black holes are great advertisement spots and potential reminders of every regretful thing you did in your life. Einstein pointed out in his general theory of relativity that gravity distorts space and time. So for an observer at an arbitrary distance, a clock near a massive object will appear to run slow. The nearer the clock is to the object’s center, the stronger will be the gravitational field, and the slower it will run (for less massive objects the clock will have just to be nearer to the center). However, there is a problem with heavy objects: they are usually very large. Therefore a clock won’t be able to get closer than the radius of the object. So the effects of time dilation won’t be apparent.
Black holes, however, have a zero radius. So objects can get close enough to experience significant relativistic effects. I will be using the case of you, and your significant other (real or imaginary) who recently lost his/her position of significance (and their balance on the space ship, apparently; sshhhh!):
In this picture, the green line represents the time measured by the observer(you) away from the influence of the black hole. The red line represents the time measured by the, uh, test subject. According to you, your time proceeds normally (the green line is not warped). The red line, even though it appears distorted to you, appears straight to the subject; just like you only have to walk straight without a care for the earth’s curvature to go to your destination, even though you appear to be moving in an arc to an observer in space. The numbers on both lines represent the hours elapsed since the break-up. Notice that the length between the hour intervals is the same for both green and red.
Now imagine that you both have clocks. Assume that the subject’s clock sends out a signal every hour. Also assume, for the sake of simplicity, that the signal reaches you instantaneously. As the warping of space time increases with decreasing distance to the black hole, you will get consecutive signals at ever increasing intervals, until at one point the next signal will take infinite time to reach you. However according to the subject, time will seem to pass normally because according to the subject, the red timeline is perfectly straight (just like with you and the earth). As you can see from the picture, no matter how far into time you progress, you will still get signals from the clock. That is to say, the simple act of disappearing forever will take your significant other an unimaginable long amount of time; and they wont even notice that you are getting impatient. As I said: bad idea.
To understand how the timelines work click here.
An explanation of the title here.